Hmm.

Feeling jaded. Not sure why. This post might not make much sense, but then again, I don't really care. No one reads this blog, anyway.

See? I told you. Jaded.

Hmm... Oh. In case you're wondering, this is just sorta my process. My creative - oftentimes unproductive - process. I ramble into a page until something relevant pops up. Sometimes, though, I drift into strange tangents that may or may not have anything to do with what I was originally aiming for.

But that's how rambles work, I guess. Scatter shot. Spray 'n pray, as they say. Hmm. How quaint. And yet unsettling. Oh well.

Why did I even start writing this post? 'Cuz I felt jaded. That's right. Cynical. Worried. About what, exactly? My work? I'm worried about my work? Why? 'Cuz it sucks? Nuh-uh. It doesn't suck. I'm a fantastic writer. You shut up. You're just a passing feeling of self-loathing. Go away, already.

And that sounded vaguely arrogant. More than vaguely, actually. Do I really have that much confidence in my abilities? Judging by all the questions I'm asking myself, apparently not. Unless this is all some kind of freaky coping mechanism. Bah. I don't even wanna think about that. It'll just get messy. Probably end with me going in logical circles for three days.

And dammit. It's three in the morning, already. The hell's wrong with me...?

But I should end on a positive note, I guess. But I can't. But why? Because I'm jaded, that's why. And because there are too many buts in this paragraph. But oh well.

If you're still reading this, then I'd like to apologize for wasting your time. That is, unless you managed to garner some kind of amusement out of my brain fumbles. If that's so, then I retract my apology, and in its place, offer a very appropriate, "You're welcome."

'n hey. I don't feel so jaded, now. Maybe I can do something productive now. And maybe there was something truly meaningful in this post. Why else would I bother to post it in this blog? Because I'm an idiot? Bah. That wouldn't be very good for my reputation as a writer. Well, maybe I'm a crappy writer. And the jadedness is back. Hello, old friend.

Wow, that sucked. Hmm.

So where is all this going? I dunno. Where is anything going? Bah. Don't get existential all of a sudden. That crap's annoying. Be positive, dammit. Optimistic.

If you're STILL reading this, then I actually have to congratulate you. I'd actually like to shake your hand, if I could. Talk about patience. You rock.

Hey. I'm being positive. I rock, too.

This post is getting too long, dammit. Aw, and there goes the positive. Well, anyway. My negativity is right. Post is getting long. You should stop reading. No, seriously. Stop reading. Hey. I told you to stop. C'mon. Listen to me. Stop, dammit. You're starting to piss me off. More negativity. Rrgh. If you don't stop reading, I'm just gonna stop writing. I'm not kidding. I'll cut it off. Right in the middle of sentence. I don't care. This is a ramble. There are no rules. I can do whatever I want. I could end it right here. I'm not going to. But I could. And hmm. Sentences are getting shorter. More concise. Fragmentary. Kinda weird. It's like. Stylish. Kinda.

Well, anyway. You deserve a trophy, my faithful reader. But I'm not gonna give you one. In fact, I think I'll just-